wench » lovely anomaly

the occasional over-thinking from over-happiness

Rini CS — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 03:35:43 +0000

“oh fuck, you have no idea how giddy i get when i read your lovey dovey posts!!!!
i feel the SAME way. i’ve always been so put off by people who are all cliche and like wayyyy too into someone at the very beginning…but for the first time in a LONG time, i feel like that. and I’m like holy shit, have i been a cynic all this time???? what is happening to me????

oh my goodness. you make me feel normal. like i’m not crazy. i’m just falling….incredibly, incredibly hard.

and fast.”

-Erika, in a comment on that last post.

I make someone feel normal. Seriously.
Sorry. Just needed to bask in the glory of that sentiment for a bit…

You all know I’m uber happy right now. You all know that I think Jaron is the best. You all know that we’re a ridiculously, adorably and nauseatingly cute couple.

And as Erika pointed out, I’m not the only one. I love that I’m sharing in this OMG YAY-ness. It started out with Joy and her Writer. Then all the steamy awesomeness that is Erika and Blog Boy. The VERY brand new-ness (and nothing official-ness, yet still exciting-ness) of Manic Cupcake and The Bad Boy. And the couple that will out-cute us all, my dear dear friend Lovely and C. (And as far as well established couples, I definitely look up to Rachel & Dan.) Doniree and Mawls also recently started things up — though I know less about those relationships. There’s got to be more. Seriously. It definitely feels like the twitterpating started WAY before spring this year.

Heck, even my mom is in a new and pretty awesome relationship.

As much as I love sharing in the glee and giggles, I know not everyone is at this place. People are going through heartbreak. Someone I care about deeply put her heart out there and got a “not now” and a lot of mixed signals in return. I’ve read on at least two or three different blogs how done people are with dating, online and off. My own brother is ending his second marriage (with a woman who never deserved him).

In observing these other relationships or lackthereof, I found myself comparing where I’m at with all of them. Is it too early to feel this great, to like him so much? Is it weird we’ve only talked on the phone once? How should we be balancing this whole who travels to see whom thing? Should I not have already expressed that I’d be more than 100% okay if he moved to Chicago? Is it weird that he and I have both realized and thought about the whole “four cats” situation? Am I rushing things? Is it odd that we’ve basically picked out my new couch together?

With all of these ponderings… I only have one conclusion. There is no right or wrong in this. There’s only what’s right for us. Our relationship is not theirs and we’re on our own timeline. I need to quit questioning things and just keep enjoying it. Because really, as I’ve said before, this is the best journey ever.

A call to all of those who are Absolutely Amazing & Awesome:

Rini CS — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 15:10:43 +0000

Yesterday, my beautiful friend, Lovely Anomaly and I decided to start a club. One that welcomes all, and whose sole purpose is spreading self-affirmation and celebrating one’s own amazingness and awesomeness.

This is how it went down:
Lovely: We should start a new club. Triple A. Absolutely Amazing & Awesome.
And thus it was. (Okay, there was more conversation after that… but that’s how it was created.)

We want you to realize that yes you are indeed Absolutely Amazing & Awesome. We believe that you need to see that in yourself before you can go out and conquer the world.

So, are you Absolutely Amazing & Awesome? Join Us!
All you need to do is ask. Or really, just let us know in some form. (The only reason Lovely and I say ask is because we absolutely love affirming people’s awesomeness and saying “YES! You’re in!”) You can find us on twitter at @lovelyanomaly and @erinichristine. We want to know who you are! We want to join you in celebrating the amazing and awesome person that you are.

As this club grows, trust us, they’ll be some amazing & awesome things in store. (I mean, of course!) For now though, tweet us! Let us know that yes, you are indeed Absolutely Amazing & Awesome. And if you’ve got a site, we’ve got a little treat for you:

Use these to let others know. (And please link back to this post so others can join too!)

It’s not being cocky, it’s celebrating you for all that you are. (But be forewarned, we won’t stand for douchebaggery or any sort of tyrant bitchery. But this is an honor code system.)

So, ask yourself, are you Absolutely Amazing & Awesome?

The Official Triple-A Twitter List
*Also, if you can’t see the code for the graphics in your rss reader, you’ll have to view the actual blog post.

from dreaming to living.

Rini CS — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:44:40 +0000

There’s a lot of people out there doing a lot of awesome things. Truly too many to name. And if you know me, well… you know I talk a lot about all these ideas and dreams that I have.

But it’s all that. It’s just talk.

Well, after a conversation with my Lovely friend, 2010 is the year we stop just dreaming and start doing. Now this friend is also up some really awesome stuff, and she pretty much always inspires and re-inspires me to go after my own dreams. And ya know, if she keeps inspiring me I need to actually do something about it.

So, um… What are my dreams?

I’ve got a lot, so it’s hard to know which ones to focus on… which ones I’m truly passionate about, which ones might actually be feasible… I think the easiest thing to do now is just take them one step at a time. Brainstorm a bit. Do some research. Outline. NOTEBOOKS!

There’s one that has a deadline coming up really soon. I’ve had a lifelong passion for animals, and have always felt a strong calling for stewardship (and more-so educating others about our world and why we need to take care of it and why it’s so freaking amazing)… And if I ever wanted to actually pursue that, now is the time. The Chicago Zoological Society is offering an MA in Zoology. It doesn’t have crazy prerequisites I don’t meet. (You’re talking to the girl who only took 2 biology courses, albeit one was Zoology, in undergrad.) Anyway. The deadline is the end of February. And I need two people to write recommendations for me. (Remember that lack of science background?) So it looks like I need to get working.

As for my other dreams? Starting a small press, having my own cafe, a hostel/inn for musicians, writing.. A LOT… and um, probably 50 others I’m forgetting… I’ll still work on those. Start my research and get my ass in gear.

I’m not always fond of ending in a question, but well, I’m going to.
What are your dreams? And what are you doing to live them?

picking up the pieces

Rini CS — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 15:38:00 +0000

Yesterday I wrote about how I’m falling apart this holiday season. However, I don’t want people to worry that I’m heading back down that path I was on last year. Unlike Humpty, I can be put back together again.

There are a few small things I’m doing to keep myself together and to not let small things ruin my day, week, or holiday season. Though I am tired, and sore, and just want to have someone hold me til I fall asleep pass out… Overall I’m doing quite well and I might not be chipper, but I am good.

I’m doing small things for myself. I’m making sure I’m getting food that I love and eating it guilt free. Donuts every morning? Okay! Mexican Food from the place down the street that already knows what my order is going to be? Yes! And no, I don’t feel bad that I’m not trying other things on the menu. Now is not the time to judge my food choices.

I make sure I start off my day with music. This month I’ve been listening to an insane amount of Arrah and the Ferns as well as BIGBIGcar. I’ve even have speakers in my bathroom on top of the shower so I can have music while I relax in a steamy hot shower…

I also have my amazing support network of friends. Though I only get a few hours each day to be online and hope to talk to a few of them — I do love coming home to cheerful messages, or catching up on the blogs and twitter. I’m also very excited about someone* new in my life, if you follow both myself and Lovely you’ve probably seen the shared excitement and giggles (ala squeeeeeee!’s)…

Basically, as with any stressful situation, I’m making sure I take time to take care of myself. I make conscious effort to do things that make me happy. You’ve got to find your “Happiness is…” moment each day, even if they’re small.

*I know you want to know more about him, but that’s for another day! (Yes, I know. I’m a tease.)
** Another reminder: You can seriously get more info if you also follow me on tumblr. Just saying.

kinda sorta dating. casually, of course.

Rini CS — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:14:35 +0000

So, I’m sort of seeing a couple guys right now.
I think.

Honestly, at this very moment, I’m not sure what’s going on.
(Part of that could be the fact that it’s midnight, I’ve been gone/busy for the last 13 hours and the lack of food… oh, yeah, and I’m blogging from bed because I really should be asleep right now.)

So, there’s a couple guys I’m seeing. And they make me very happy. I mean, very happy. There also very different guys too. But neither seems to be looking for a relationship and well, they’ve told me that they’re also seeing other people (one said not very seriously and the other didn’t specify). And by a couple, I should say two — but I’m talking to a few other guys… and maybe I’m still seeing one other… I don’t know.

ANYWAY. They guys that I think I’m seeing make me very happy. Though I wouldn’t mind if one of them, or even one of the other guys I’m talking to wanted to date me exclusively… I’m not going to push them for that. They know that I’m seeing other people too. But that being said, it’d sort of be nice, and maybe easier, if one would just man up and show some real interest.

That’s why things are confusing. I don’t know where things stand other than the “it’s casual” sort of thing. And while, yes, I am okay with this… sometimes I wonder if they see it as we’re casual dating or not. Because when you get down to it, we’re more than friends. And then you throw in the fact that maybe one of them might also be casually seeing one of your other friends, but you can’t talk about it… yeah, more confusion.

Like I said. All of this could be from the fact that my brain wants to shut down and my body just wants to cuddle. (But with this kinda sorta casual thing, it means there’s no one laying next to me ready to shut off my laptop and throw his arms around me.)

Maybe in the morning none of this will matter.

As Lovely and I would say… BOYS.

not dead.

Rini CS — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:14:57 +0000

Nope. Not dead. My internet was for almost a week though. And that sucked balls.
(there’s a reason I won’t get rid of my data plan on my phone…)

Anyway. The toy store continues to be awesome. I enjoy my coworkers, can generally deal with the kids better than most of the parents, and have gotten my own webkinz account — hey, it’s product research. Need to know what I’m selling. Which, yes, has lead me to playing a few games (and defeating my manager in farkle on my first day, he denies it). I’ve also read a few books too. I’m finding favorites. Like Pigs Make Me Sneeze. It’s pretty much could have been a scene out of Lovely Anomaly’s and my own friendship. I recommend it if you need a minute or two to kill.

As far as relationship stuff goes… I went on a date, and of course haven’t heard much from him since… This is becoming fairly typical, so it’s not phasing me as much. I’m also apparently casually dating a couple different guys. Yes, one of them is indeed the Boy.

Lastly, I’ve had some things on my mind… and not sure how to deal with them online… Generally I’m really open with things here, but I’m still figuring out how I want to handle this. I want to be open about it, and to have a place to express myself, but I don’t want to seem passive aggressive (or more so than this is feeling…) Anyway. I’ve at least had Lovely, who’s heard quite of bit of what’s going on… And I appreciate her so freaking much.

But ultimately, what you need to know… I’m not dead.

hold up, did yesterday actually happen?

Rini CS — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 16:49:21 +0000

Okay, so I know yesterday was 09-09-09…. but did that account for the awesomeness yesterday, or did yesterday just rock?

1. Beatles Rock Band came out. I almost feel like I’ve been raised on the Beatles. My mom has been a fan for ages (hell, that’s her generation.. ish), so being a small child and having Beatles paraphernalia around the house was nothing unusual. Beatles mugs, throw blankets, sheet music, VHS movies… Soon it turned into figurines, a music box figurine, a Linda McCartney photograph, and numerous tshirts. Oh course we had a lot of the albums on CD too, and I started getting their movies on DVD for my mom. Last year? Beatles Monopoly.
So, I can’t afford Beatles Rock Band just yet — and yes, I’d want the complete set, all the guitars and everything. But I’m hopeful that one day it’ll be in my home.

2. I ate a bacon cupcake. Seriously. Okay, so it’s a buttermilk spice cupcake with maple syrup infused in it, with a maple buttercream frosting, and caramelized bacon on top. I’ve seen these at Phoebe’s all summer, and two of my friends had tried them on cupcake dates. But Lovely and I had steered towards the other ones (mostly the weekly specials). But I was going on a cupcake date with a dude who’s pretty much obsessed with bacon. If it came to bacon or sex, I’m not sure which he’d choose. But yeah. I ate a bacon cupcake, and it was good.

3. I met another blogger. I had heard little bits about this person, Frank of Frank (Slept Here), via his older sister Rachel. I didn’t know much about him, other than how to destroy him and um, yeah, this kid likes bacon. My first interaction with him was one of the weekly Mario Kart games… I seem to remember hitting him with multiple red shells… right before he tried to cross the finish line. It was kinda awesome.

4. I made out with said blogger. Hehe. Um. Yeah. Also awesome.

So yeah. That whole, “I sort of have a little bit of a crush on someone… and I honestly don’t care if it develops into anything” thing, um.. totally lying. Very happy dinosaur right now. Frank’s pretty awesome.

I woke up this morning and just sort of pondered over all of that… Did it really just happen? But well, given the messages in my inbox, I’m sure it did. And well, if anyone wants to, um, donate, a complete Beatles Rock Band set (or hell, any part of it — beggars can’t be choosers, right?)… You know where to find me… (At Jenn’s playing her copy! or, oh yeah, enjoying some time with a bacon-loving guy…)

i’m not dead…

Rini CS — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 15:24:17 +0000

… I’m just in Indiana…

I’ve been here visiting family, and a friend… it’s been good. However. I miss Chicago. I miss the kittens. I miss walking places. I even miss getting my ass handed to me by Rachel in Mario Kart — though, I’ve heard rumors that Jenn’s someone to watch out for…

Lovely’s been wonderful AMAZING and watching the kitties for me… And I can’t wait to get home and go on a cupcake date with her!!

Anyway. I do have things to do here… like take a trumpet in for a mouthpiece pull… but yeah. Updates. You’ll get them. Family stuffs of the best kind. And I’ll get the next installment of the boy drama… But yeah. I miss Chicago and my lovely friends who inhabit it.

there’s epic, and then there’s EPIC. (my weekend with the bloggers)

Rini CS — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:47:43 +0000

Thinking about all of what just happened in the last three and a half-ish day is a bit crazy. The premise is pretty simple: a large group of 20sb-ers descended upon the city for a weekend of good times. And overall, that’s exactly what my weekend was.

Though I had met a small handful of these amazing people before, most of them were just text and pixels to me. Some of them I hadn’t seen or even heard of their blogs. But with our shared connection in 20sb, and the few interactions we’ve had (okay, some more than others), there was a distinct trust that was built and we completely ignored the fact the we were really meeting these people for the first time. Now, I am a person that will make connections quickly. I can make a best friend in a matter of hours — in fact, Chrizzle and I became besties rather quickly, and I definitely don’t regret it. I think more so than ever, you don’t necessarily need that long shared history to really connect with a person. If you click, you click, and then you run with it full force, completely ignoring the fact that you may have only known this person for two hours or only online. I love that bond. Don’t get me wrong, I love shared pasts too — but to just decide, “yes, you are indeed awesome, I approve” after a short while just great.

So many things happened this weekend. And yeah, while I knew I was going to be hanging out with great people, I didn’t really go into this weekend thinking that when the weekend was over I’d be missing these people like crazy. We spent so many hours together drinking, talking, joking around, dancing, eating, getting sun burnt, and twittering together that those few days felt more like a few months. Maybe some of that was from the long hours together, but some of that feeling might also be from that connection of being in 20sb together and having read blogs and tweets from various people in the groups. It’s as if we already knew them…

Leah Christine and I

I generally think of myself as someone who’s quiet and shy. Anyone from this weekend will probably say otherwise. And I’m glad. Being able to be in such a great group as this and just be myself — all of myself — was fantastic. Everything from sort of quiet awkward Rini, to OMG what is she on awkward Rini… And I loved it all.

Dino Nico and Dini Rini (aka T-Rex v. Velociraptor)

And being able to just feel comfortable enough to express my more… touchy-feely side. Being able to hug people, lean on them, poke them, or…

… yeah, don’t let his face fool you. Mr. McBastard loved it.

This weekend was about connecting with new-old friends:

Look! We found DShan!

Awesome Face and I

And of course, creating memories and doing crazy stuff with new friends:

Lovely Anomaly, aka my new BFF neighbor

Tall glass of Phampants anyone?

Oats really isn’t evil. I promise.

Anyway. I got to meet a ton of people. And there’s so many little detaily stories I could try to include (like getting mani-pedi’s with Awesome Face, Doniree, and Katie — or various Nico quotes “What does 70 pairs of underwear sound like?” “How did you know I drive a Scion?” — or dancing with the coolest 4-year-old ever at the Pride Parade, see below — or acknowledging that yes, Mom In Real Life does indeed Own my phone..)

So… how do you say good-bye to all of these amazing people? Well, outside of a hug, you don’t. Within a few minutes we’ve connected again through our usual means — 20sb, facebook, and twitter.

Anyway. I rounded out my weekend with a great phone call in which, well, I’ll give you details later. But it was good.

okay. So some of these photos are mine, some aren’t.. but to get the full weekend go to our Flickr group.