So, here’s short little list, with a wee bit of a description, to help.  I’m not going to go into too much detail into the identities of these men.  This is basically just a brief overview, a primer if you will, of the guys… (be they someone I’ve gone on dates with or just a current crush)

• The Boy — he’s a science teacher, gymnastics coach/former gymnast, and drummer.  He’s very pretty.  Yes, we’ve had some not so awesome moments, but… I like him.  Not very much of a cuddler, nor that into cupcakes.
• The Musician Snuggles — I’ve had a terrible time thinking up of some sort of alias for this dude.  But Snuggles will work. He’s probably just as much of a physical/physically expressive person as I am.  (Snuggles -> snuggling…)  He’s creative and talented, and lordy do I find him sexy.  (He sang for me.)  Not only does he like cupcakes, but has suggested we go on cupcake dates.
• The Banker — well, um, probably a bit obvious here, but I’m okay with that.  He’s nice and I’ve enjoyed getting to know him.  It makes depositing my paychecks even more enjoyable.
• The whole foods dude — also a little obvious, but there are a lot of guys who work there.  He seems nice, but I never really get to talk to him.  I also don’t want to be that creepy girl who always waits to go through his line every time…  but he’s cute.
• The swell guy — I’ve known him for almost a year now.  He’s still pretty awesome, but since he’s not in the city, well, we mostly just talk online or text.  He asked if I would be his text lover.
• The neighbor — not really seeing much of him any more.  But he lives close by….  He’s nice and all, but like pretty much every guy I’ve ever been interested in, he’s really busy.
• Jeff — we haven’t met in person yet, but we’ve been talking on and off for over 2 years now.  He’s great.  and trying to take over my comments section here on wench.  He doesn’t live in the city, but close.

There’s the line up.  I trust you’ll ask if you’ve got questions/think I’m missing someone/want more stores.

(Wait, didn’t I write about this not that long ago?)

In my past, I feel like there has been a good handful of guys who I’ve somewhat scared off because of the whole “holy crap I really like you” thing I tend to have going on…  After feeling so comfortable and so great with one person, I tend to want to know what’s going on.  I want some sort of definition or declaration of what our relationship is.  It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I definitely bring that subject up a bit too early.

I’m having to rewire my mind to try to avoid the pink fluffy brain goo.  I want to be able to enjoy being with someone and not getting caught up in the whole mess of trying to figure out what’s going on.  No, I don’t really know how it goes from “I’m sort of seeing someone” to “this is my boyfriend”… but I really need to stop being concerned with that.  It will happen, and it will happen when it’s ready to happen.

It’s a lot easier to tell myself to stop, calm down, and breathe than it is to do just that.  But when it comes down to finding that one person who I really want to be with, I need to prepare myself to try not to muck things up the best I can! I seriously don’t want to be the crazy girl!
(Luckily I’ve got a very Lovely friend who seems to be willing to take on the crazy task of keeping me in check!)

Also, as you may have noticed, I’ve recently developed this… fondness… for a certain fellow.  So, obviously I’ve been excited — still am.  However, as I mentioned at least once, I’m just slightly aggressive when it come to pursuing guys…  I’m not all that shy about showing a guy that I’m interested.

Frank and I have gotten through the “I like you, you like me” part.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome.  But um, now — now I’m just trying not to overwhelm him with that fact.  (I’m sorry if I have, Frank.)  It’s hard, though, because the pink fluffy brain goo is convinced that Frank is the most awesomest person in the world right now.  And the pink fluffy brain goo can be loud sometimes.

So far, I’ve tried to distracted myself with these:

• The Guild
• Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog
• Firefly
• Farmville on Facebook (already bored of it)
• Pirates of the Caribbean (just started #1, will continue on to 2 & 3)
• My journal (you know, bound, with paper…)

Soon… I think I might move on to video games… Yoshi’s Island, Super Paper Mario, Mario Kart, Mario Galaxy, Super Mario Party and maybe a little Guitar Hero too…. (Notice a trend in my games?  Feel free to donate others for the cause.)  Anyway.

I like him, and I want to see where this can go.

1. Beatles Rock Band came out. I almost feel like I’ve been raised on the Beatles.  My mom has been a fan for ages (hell, that’s her generation.. ish), so being a small child and having Beatles paraphernalia around the house was nothing unusual.  Beatles mugs, throw blankets, sheet music, VHS movies… Soon it turned into figurines, a music box figurine, a Linda McCartney photograph, and numerous tshirts.  Oh course we had a lot of the albums on CD too, and I started getting their movies on DVD for my mom.  Last year? Beatles Monopoly.
So, I can’t afford Beatles Rock Band just yet — and yes, I’d want the complete set, all the guitars and everything.  But I’m hopeful that one day it’ll be in my home.

2. I ate a bacon cupcake. Seriously.  Okay, so it’s a buttermilk spice cupcake with maple syrup infused in it, with a maple buttercream frosting, and caramelized bacon on top.  I’ve seen these at Phoebe’s all summer, and two of my friends had tried them on cupcake dates.  But Lovely and I had steered towards the other ones (mostly the weekly specials).  But I was going on a cupcake date with a dude who’s pretty much obsessed with bacon.  If it came to bacon or sex, I’m not sure which he’d choose.  But yeah.  I ate a bacon cupcake, and it was good.

3. I met another blogger. I had heard little bits about this person, Frank of Frank (Slept Here), via his older sister Rachel.  I didn’t know much about him, other than how to destroy him and um, yeah, this kid likes bacon.  My first interaction with him was one of the weekly Mario Kart games… I seem to remember hitting him with multiple red shells… right before he tried to cross the finish line.  It was kinda awesome.

4. I made out with said blogger.  Hehe.  Um.  Yeah.  Also awesome.

So yeah.  That whole, “I sort of have a little bit of a crush on someone… and I honestly don’t care if it develops into anything” thing, um.. totally lying.  Very happy dinosaur right now.  Frank’s pretty awesome.

I woke up this morning and just sort of pondered over all of that… Did it really just happen?  But well, given the messages in my inbox, I’m sure it did.  And well, if anyone wants to, um, donate, a complete Beatles Rock Band set (or hell, any part of it — beggars can’t be choosers, right?)… You know where to find me… (At Jenn’s playing her copy! or, oh yeah, enjoying some time with a bacon-loving guy…)

• I’ve been unemployed for about a month and half now
• I didn’t get the writing job in Madison, let alone an interview
• I’m practically a hermit
• Credit card debt? Yeah, um, hi.
• How many times can I get rejected by guys each month?
• I’m on a month-to-month lease
• If I pay my cell phone bill, I don’t know if I can buy food
• I can’t afford rent next month
• I can’t afford the medications I was previously taking
• I have no idea what’s happening with grad school — as in, if I’m going to apply or if I’ll be able to finish a portfolio in time
• Oh, and yeah, if I do apply to grad school where’s that money going to come from?
• Someone I know in real life has threatened legal action against me (they have no case though)… and there might be awkward, if not potentially frustrating and miserable times ahead (depending on this other person’s actions)

Those are just the things off the top of my head.  I have no idea what’s going on with me or many of those things listed above.  Sometimes I wonder why I’m not stressed — me, the Queen of Stress, who’s been hospitalized with acute, temporary paralysis thanks to stress… How am I calm?  I feel like I should be freaked out.  (And yes, I know, why am I complaining? Shouldn’t this be a good thing?)

Well, for one… My mom’s talked about loaning some money so I can stay in Chicago another month.  And also, something about my cell bill and helping make sure that the kittens and I have food.  I’ve got a freelance web design job lined up for next month too… It won’t be much, but it’s something.  And I am still applying to jobs.  (I’m awesome, someone will hire me.)  And, um, yeah, flirting still.  I sort of have a little bit of a crush on someone… and I honestly don’t care if it develops into anything.  Truly.  It’s just been fun talking to someone and giggling.  (I’m awesome, someone will date me.)

I may not know what’s going to happen, or how things are going to be taken care of… I don’t even know how long I’ll stay in Chicago.  Things will work out though.  Somehow.  Right?

This whole “going on dates” thing is fairly new to me still.  It’s something that started happening after I moved to the city.  I’d been used to the school yard “Will you go out with me” simplicity. (ha! sorry, it was a pain in the ass back then too…)  But with dating… it’s weird.  I mean.  Where the hell is this going?  And I don’t want to be the one to ask that, but I mean, you sort of have to, right?  When do you go from “going on dates” to “this is my boyfriend”?  There’s no clear answer… and really, that blows.  (Or Awesome Face’s response would be “BALLS.”)

I like this guy.  And this whole uncertainty of what’s going on has occasionally made my synapses explode.  I don’t want to rush things.  And I don’t want to sound… ungrateful?  I mean, I’m seriously enjoying this.  I don’t want to stop seeing him any time soon.  So, I mean, yeah.  That’s sort of why I wish there was something more defined.  I don’t even know how to introduce him.  We’ve gone on two dates and talked quite a bit — does this mean I can say we’re “seeing each other”?

I know.  BREATHE.  I don’t want to come off as the crazy chick.  But guys, I really like him.  And I guess there’s always that slight fear that if he’s not mine, that he might still find someone else…  Why is laying one’s claim so important?  I hate feeling this way.  (Make it go away.)  …. Because I do trust him — as much as one can after two dates and a month and half of talking.  And other than my own mental stupidity, things are going well.  This confusions only a small part of everything.  We’re taking things a day at a time and I’m enjoying every bit of it.  It’s hard not to get all gushy and annoyingly cutesy when I think about him.  I am trying though. He’s just a lot of fun to be with, someone I enjoy talking to, look forward to spending time with… and yeah, he’s freaking hot.

So just bare with me as much as you can.

I hadn’t actually wanted to write about it much, nor had I really gone into too much detail with my friends until recently**.  I mean, I meet guys, I get excited, it doesn’t work out, rinse, repeat.  However, this has been different in a very good way.  Still nothing official, it’s only been two dates.  But yeah, I really wanted to just let this one percolate with myself for a while.

So, without going into some big gushy rant about how amazing I think he is (I do, and he is), or about how hot he is (and he is), or any other little sickening “oh-my-gosh I’m so freaking happy” crap…. here’s just some highlights so far…

• driving out to a bar that’s already had last call, just to spend 30 minutes with me… and then drive me home.
• always opening the car door for me to get in.
• iPhone apps talk, and playing with his half-naked weather chicks app…
• “Big, beefy caveman”…. (though I think the original is “big, beefy, sexy caveman”)
• making engine noises to make up for his prius (which is kinda sorta really awesome — both the car and the noises)
• realizing that we both have full-sized beds for the same reason
• kitties!
• getting to facebook stalk him and see all his half-naked pictures (most of which are from when he’s drumming)
• costumes/dress-up discussions
• adorable excitable eyebrows
• call-escorting me to the bus stop
• talking about why parents shouldn’t get 14-year-olds puppies, and turning it into a discussion that my mom should have gotten me a boy toy (aka him — yes, he did the whole point-and-nod-to-himself thing…)
• getting called “babesauce”

*I really wanted to call this “Mating Rituals of the Geek” … but well, we’re not quite to that part yet….
**Blagosphere friends excluded… (As far as I’m concerned, being open with the 20sb crowd is second nature.)

I’ve had guys interested in me, and I’ve gone out on dates, but nothing’s really panned out (as you’ve probably already noticed).  It wasn’t really for lack of trying either — which, honestly, probably hurt me more than it helped.

I am a semi-aggressive woman when it comes to dating.  I’m okay taking the lead and asking someone out or giving my number to someone.  Hell, I’ve even included it in my tip before at a restaurant or just taken the guy’s phone and programmed it in.  Granted in most cases, I’m pretty sure that they dude has at least some interest in me, even if it’s just for the moment.

However, when it comes to longevity, or even just getting a second date… Basically you can just stamp a big ol’ FAIL on my dating file.  I just haven’t found someone who’s connected with me enough, has been interested in me enough, to stick around.  Now, normally this is where, for many women, we insert the long, whiny, emo rant about how nobody loves us and how we can’t understand because we’re not “unattractive” but apparently we aren’t enough.. blah blah BLAH.  It’s bullshit and that’s all there is.

My friend Dani has a rule, a Two Call Rule.  Granted it was established before cell phones were the norm — which, hey, really wasn’t all that long ago… I got my first cell, which I shared with my mom, when I started driving.  Anyway.  Dani’s rule is simple.  She calls twice, and if she doesn’t get a response, she moves on.  When you had to sit around the house, waiting for someone to call your land-line, you really had to establish some ground rules otherwise you’d never leave your house.  Dani would make two attempts to connect with the guy, and if he didn’t respond, then that was it.  It’s pretty fair really, even with today’s connectivity.

While I’m not the absolute best at following it — I have a bad habit of thinking the best of people and making excuses for why they haven’t gotten in touch — I do follow it myself to some extent.  I’ll try a couple times to get in touch with a guy, and if he doesn’t respond or doesn’t make any indication that he actually wants to hang out, then all I really can do is just leave it be.  As Dani’s mentioned to me a couple times, if a guy’s interested he’ll let you know.  He’ll make an effort to get a hold of you.  Anything less and it’s not worth it.

From the other side, as I mentioned, I’m a semi-aggressive woman.  More often than not, I’ll let a guy know I’m interested.  I don’t feel that it’s all on the guy to do every bit of the pursuing — however, I do feel that I should be pursued to some extent.  Mutual pursuing.  If I’m going to make an effort, you should too — assuming you’re interested.  David, from The Rest is Still Unwritten, has some decent advice in his post “Love in the Digital Age“.

So, for those at home keeping score:

• The swell guy and I have not, and will not date.  Even though he’s moving and will be living decently close to my mom’s, it’s just not going to happen.  He is still a good friend though, and hot.  Hot friends are good, right?
• The guy I didn’t really talk about, and never created a nickname for, who lives in my new neighborhood… well, after dropping off all contact with me for a long time, he finally IMed me, but hasn’t responded since.
• The virginian and I went from casually dating, to not talking, to friends.  It all worked out in the end.
• Sweaterboy has stopped talking to me.  Never called back.
• Sebby wants to declare his undying love for me, but is just too shy…
• My bandmate is just that, my bandmate.  Just a friend I see every so often whom I happened to make out with (and then get attacked by a post-make out pink fluffy brain goo high)…

And where does that leave me know?  Still single, really.  It’s not a negative thing, it’s just a fact.  I’m one hell of a woman, and though rejection may suck, it’s not the end of the world.

I spent a very enjoyable evening last night with one of my bandmates.  A small group of us had decided to go out together… He and I danced a bit, and continued our giggling and flirting from practice.  He’s got a relaxed energy to him that just draws me in. … maybe it’s his smile, or his eyes… Or maybe it’s the way he dances.  Regardless.  I’m becoming smitten with this handsome fellow.

Normally this is when I’d swell up with joy and hope and pink fluffy brain goo…  As awesome as I think this guy is, it doesn’t change the fact that in two short weeks, at the end of this month, he’ll be leaving the Second City and moving to the Capital (and I’m not talking a couple hours away, I’m talking chumming up with Mr. Obama singing “won’t you be my neighbor?”)…  My mind just wants to reach out and go “but, but.. no.. that’s not enough time…”  It wants to search out any and every way to keep him here so I can continue on this twitterpated path.

There’s really nothing I can do in this situation — at least in regards to convincing him to stay.  I’m going to enjoy the time I have with him, which really isn’t hard to do… And when the time comes, I’m going to wish him all the best with the move.  Hopefully we’ll keep in touch.

In fact it should be noted that when Jemaine first appeared on stage, Rini audibly gasped and then proceeded to mumble something about chest hair over and over again. As for Jemaine, I knew he felt something special when he kept singing these sad love songs about rejection and totally looking in our direction! (In fact he seemed to get distracted sometimes by the way that Rini kept audibly expressing her love for him. But what really closed the deal was Jemaine’s personal serenade of “Sugarlumps” directly totally towards Rini. At that point, I knew that I would have to say goodbye to my dear friend, but I wish her well in the land of the kiwis and I am sure Jemaine and her will make very pretty babies together.

Before they ran off to climb aboard their private jet, I did manage to get this one picture of their perfect love.

Obviously keeping these two apart would be nie impossible.

Faithfully reported by Mennogirl