Last night, as the case has been before, it was about planning blog posts… but this one was a little different… it was focused on some guys from 20sb. A few I had flirted with drunkenly, another I had chatted with and the conversation turned to us sleeping together [all of this true by the way]… and then… a twist… a little confession of mine… that given the opportunity… there was one* male blogger I’ve met that, yeah, I’d sleep with.

Not to make things awkward with this friend, but I’m going to spill the beans. None other than Nicopolitan.

The blog post went on to talk about how appreciated I’d been about his help with my blog… then the 20sb Chicago meetup and the “where’s Nico?” (which wasn’t as bad as the “Where’d DShan go??” from that meetup)… to just him being awesome.

Anyway. The pre-dream sort of went off from there, Dream Nico and I decided that the next time we met up, it’d happen. And of course being the bloggers that we are, we’d have to blog about it… So we get a gal (I think it might have been Rachel) to come in for the most awkward photo session ever — which really, in the pre-dream was basically the most hilarious thing ever. Nothing was shown that shouldn’t have been. Mostly a staged “after” photo with both of us disheveled in my bed, both of us restrained by one arm in my fuzzy cuffs, and Dream Nico smoking. And then we decided to vlog about it. Again, just an “after” conversation. Which had a lot of me hiding.. “What are doing down there?!” “I’m looking for my contact.” “YOU DON’T WEAR CONTACTS!” … remember, pre-dream as it may be, I was still decently out of it… it’s like a tv show in your head.

Anyway. Yeah. So I had a pre-dream about Nico.

*There are undoubtly more than just one male blogger I’ve met that I’d probably be willing to sleep with… but I haven’t dreamed or pre-dreamed about them.. as of yet.

[originally posted at Pink Dinosaurs.]

I’m torn when it comes to voting things such as this.  As someone who loves to support her friends (such as voting for Mucca Pazza in the Chicago Music Awards), there are some awards that I adamantly avoid.  Unfortunately, the Bootleg awards have been one of them.  This is my first year to be involved with them, but from joining 20SB they haven’t set right with me.

I do believe we need to recognize those bloggers who are just awesome.  We’ve got some freaking awesome people in the 20SB community who are doing phenomenal things.  But when it comes to awards, community nominated and given awards… well, I get a little nervous.

The blogging world generally seems to be run by playground politics, in my opinion. Or really, any school related politics, because there is a good handful of it that very reminiscent of high school, and not in a good way.  As with any community built on relationships, it’s going to feel like a popularity contest.  I know I’ll take some grief for this, but I feel it’s need to be said.

Never did I even dream I would be nominated*.  Yes, I do feel like I’m a good writer and a good blogger.  But I don’t feel like one of the popular kids.  I know that in the blogging world a lot of it is up to chance, and yes playground rules and lunchroom hierarchies sort of run the place… I’m very happy and grateful for what I have. But nevertheless, awards that are mostly popularity contests do sort of get me down.

I’m in no way judging the company I keep or the other nominees.  I’m good friends with a good number of them and love them dearly.  They deserve the awards they’ve been nominated for.  But well, when the same people keep popping up?  Again, it’s nothing against them — I just have a hard time thinking this is a good representation of the community.

The only solution to this for more people to get involved in the nominating process.  The wider selection of nominees will allow for a grander selection of our community to be recognized.  We need to get off the jungle gym and make this change.

*I’m very grateful to be nominated for Best Tumblog for Pink Dinosaurs.  I’m honored.  It was a complete and utter surprise.  Maybe it’s years of doing thankless jobs — stage managing and producing — but I never feel like I’ll win these things.

CONTINUANCE: (8:45a 12.29.09)

It is definitely not my intention to hurt anyone with this post.  Blogging is by no means about the recognition.  It’s my outlet.  Like for so many people, it’s our safe place (or at least, we hope it’s our safe place).

I have personal baggage when it comes to people getting recognition.  Yes, I want to be recognized too.  A lot of us do.  And for me, when I saw the same names over and over, regardless of who they are — and seriously, because the ones I know in person, I really like and truly respect — it just sort of brought up a lot of old feelings of just wanting a pat on the back and a “good job”.

The title of my post has nothing to do with anyone other than myself.  The loser I’m referring to is myself.  No, I don’t think I’m a loser — I think I’m anything but.  Which is, yes, why I’d like a little recognition too.  I’m not the only one who feels this way.  I know it.  I’m being honest with myself right now.  It comes from years of feeling like I’ve been looked over.  Yes, I have gotten recognition for things.  Yes, I have been building up myself, telling myself that I am indeed awesome.

I’m going to ramble myself into a corner.  But honestly and truthfully, I have never meant to hurt anyone by my opinion.  I still do believe that the bloggers nominated are amazing people and have done a lot to build the 20SB community

This should really be posted on Fledgling Adult, but since that’s not ready yet… it’s going here.

Anyway.  Here goes…

This was created using FlipStudio on my DSi.
+500 awesome points to me.

The 20sb meet up was amazing, and I assumed BlogHer would be at least just as awesome.  What made BlogHer so awesome for me? My 20sb friends who were also there.  Yes, I met new people.  But overall, I left feeling uneasy about BlogHer as an organization.

When people think about BlogHer or their conferences, they think MommyBloggers — and now I know why.  BlogHer seems to have a preference towards the mommies.  (Now, I’m going to note: there is a MAJOR difference between a mom who happens to blog and a MommyBlogger.)  I realize that yes, the mommies are a very large presence in the BlogHer community.  But maybe that’s because BlogHer is catering to them… Maybe.  Did I feel that there was really much for me as a 20-something?  No.

I don’t know how many times I was asked if I had children by various sponsors in the expo hall.  I mean, you have to expect it, but after the 5th time it became annoying.  BlogHer does not equal MommyBlogger.  But after the conference this past weekend, I could make that confusion too — which is a total shame.  I think people don’t realize how much of a huge demographic the 20-somethings are in the blogging community.  20sb alone has over 7,000 members.  We are a large voice on the internet.  We are an influential group.  I wish BlogHer would see that.

Am I going to go to BlogHer10 in New York?  Right now I’m saying no.  The only thing that would get me to go would be my friends.  I have no interest in being surrounded by MommyBloggers*.  I don’t want to deal with babies at cocktail parties — or the drama when they’re turned away (even other moms don’t want this either).  I don’t want to enter to win a car seat.  (I also don’t want to listen to keynotes that don’t have any representation for the 20-something women, or are all about getting blog sponsorships or how to make the text on my blog bold….)

I would love to have a dialogue with BlogHer about being more inclusive for people other than the Mommies.  As of now, I don’t feel that I have a voice in that community.

I’m a female, I blog, and I’m not a mommy.  I still matter.

*I realize there are MommyBlogger who are really cool people.  But as a mob, I’m not that fond of them.

I also want to say that I didn’t hate BlogHer09.  I did have fun.  But I still feel like they were catering primarily to the Mommies.

Though I had met a small handful of these amazing people before, most of them were just text and pixels to me.  Some of them I hadn’t seen or even heard of their blogs.  But with our shared connection in 20sb, and the few interactions we’ve had (okay, some more than others), there was a distinct trust that was built and we completely ignored the fact the we were really meeting these people for the first time.  Now, I am a person that will make connections quickly.  I can make a best friend in a matter of hours — in fact, Chrizzle and I became besties rather quickly, and I definitely don’t regret it.  I think more so than ever, you don’t necessarily need that long shared history to really connect with a person.  If you click, you click, and then you run with it full force, completely ignoring the fact that you may have only known this person for two hours or only online.  I love that bond.  Don’t get me wrong, I love shared pasts too — but to just decide, “yes, you are indeed awesome, I approve” after a short while just great.

So many things happened this weekend.  And yeah, while I knew I was going to be hanging out with great people, I didn’t really go into this weekend thinking that when the weekend was over I’d be missing these people like crazy.  We spent so many hours together drinking, talking, joking around, dancing, eating, getting sun burnt, and twittering together that those few days felt more like a few months.  Maybe some of that was from the long hours together, but some of that feeling might also be from that connection of being in 20sb together and having read blogs and tweets from various people in the groups.  It’s as if we already knew them…

Leah Christine and I

I generally think of myself as someone who’s quiet and shy.  Anyone from this weekend will probably say otherwise.  And I’m glad.  Being able to be in such a great group as this and just be myself — all of myself — was fantastic.  Everything from sort of quiet awkward Rini, to OMG what is she on awkward Rini…  And I loved it all.

Dino Nico and Dini Rini (aka T-Rex v. Velociraptor)

And being able to just feel comfortable enough to express my more… touchy-feely side.  Being able to hug people, lean on them, poke them, or…

… yeah, don’t let his face fool you.  Mr. McBastard loved it.

This weekend was about connecting with new-old friends:

Look! We found DShan!

Awesome Face and I

And of course, creating memories and doing crazy stuff with new friends:

Lovely Anomaly, aka my new BFF neighbor

Tall glass of Phampants anyone?

Oats really isn’t evil. I promise.

Anyway.  I got to meet a ton of people.  And there’s so many little detaily stories I could try to include (like getting mani-pedi’s with Awesome Face, Doniree, and Katie — or various Nico quotes “What does 70 pairs of underwear sound like?” “How did you know I drive a Scion?” — or dancing with the coolest 4-year-old ever at the Pride Parade, see below — or acknowledging that yes, Mom In Real Life does indeed Own my phone..)

So… how do you say good-bye to all of these amazing people?  Well, outside of a hug, you don’t.  Within a few minutes we’ve connected again through our usual means — 20sb, facebook, and twitter.

Anyway.  I rounded out my weekend with a great phone call in which, well, I’ll give you details later.  But it was good.

okay.  So some of these photos are mine, some aren’t.. but to get the full weekend go to our Flickr group.

I spent Saturday at home.  I had thought about going out, but really apathy took over for most of the day.  I did manage to get out for a bit when I took Libby out to dinner for some buffalo wings.  But truly, my weekend was spent on Sunday.

My main motivation for getting out was based on a tip from the wonderful Jennifer of Free and Flawed.  I was on the hunt for $2 tank tops.  I searched all over that store.  Even up in the kids area to see if maybe they had sold out of the women’s… Nope.  No luck.  (And just FYI — yes, I can still fit into little boy’s XL, but I was going to get them for my niece rather than myself.)  It wasn’t a total bust.  I got a new bikini.  That’s definitely a win.  Major win.  Now I just need an occasion to wear it/them.  (I got one pair of bottoms, and two tops — so unless I plan on doing a costume change at the beach, maybe a few trips to the beach would be nice…)

Having failed at my search for cheap summer wears, I decided that I wanted to find a cupcake bakery down in the Loop I’d heard about.  The cupcake hunt was a major success.  I found Sugar Bliss.  Fewer selections than Phoebe’s, but still nice.  And it was while treating myself to some mini cupcakes that I decided that I needed to indulge myself even more.  I hopped in a cab and after about 7 minutes of my driver hitting on me and reminding me that he likes European girls and I seem very European, I ended up at my desired destination, Shedd Aquarium.

I honestly couldn’t recall the last time I had visited Shedd.  It was back when my Gram was living in Hyde Park and I thought that you could walk from there to Wrigley Field.  (My childhood version of Chicago is skewed, to say the least.)  I have no qualms about going to such attractions as zoos and museums by myself.  Sometimes I prefer it.  I get the freedom to check out the exhibits I want to see, and the freedom to sit and stare at a particular animal for 20 minutes if I so choose.  Sadly, the animal I wanted to stare at for extended periods of time wasn’t on display.  The shark tank was closed for the day.  They did have two bonnetheads in the caribbean reef tank.  Not to mention that the Beluga exhibit was finally open again.

I know some crazy animal rights groups absolutely loath zoos.  And while I agree that a zoo is not the ideal home for most animals, I do believe that most zoos are doing good and are promoting great causes.  I can definitely say that zoos and aquariums pushed me over the edge with my love for wildlife, something sparked by great programs on networks like Discovery.  The LP Zoo is one of the city’s parks and is free to the public, allowing tons of city kids a chance to see animals such as polar bears, giraffes and lions for the first time (and to hear of animals like red pandas, spectacle bears and takins for the first time as well).  As much as those groups can complain and picket, organizations like Shedd, the LP Zoo, and Brookfield are doing far more good than harm.

So.  Besides staring a fish and marine wildlife for hours, I also got out of my element this weekend.  While I was out, I received a call from Oliver informing me that there were fun times to be had (along with BBQ and pies) over at the Hideout.  So after a quick breather at home (I had done a bit of shopping, even finally picking up the painting I’ve been eyeing for ages, so I needed to drop off bags)… I skirted up and caught a cab.  I arrived to a full on barbecue, a forklift, and aural blast of country.  What I had come into was a day, yes a full day, of country music.  Now, thanks to the my uncle and the Globe, I can tolerate some folk and bluegrass.  But I don’t really listen to country.  At first I wasn’t sure what I should do, so I just tagged along with my bandmates David and Susie for a while.  Despite my own taste in music, I can acknowledge good music.  And there was definitely some great music there.

After the bands were over, some of us were hanging by the forklift (hey, how else are you supposed to arrange large benches?)…  Oliver’s shoes were stolen… And well, an impromptu game of Por-shoes was started.  How do you play por-shoes?  It’s simple.  Take a pair of well-loved Wal-stocks sandals and heave them, under handed of course, towards the Porsche convertible.  Get it in, win your round and the love of everyone.  It may sound sort of… odd, but it’s truly fun.  I got a half point for getting a shoe in the puddle.

So, lessons I’ve learned from my weekend:

• these new cute fashion sandals are so NOT worth anything more than $5.  Seriously.
• people are stupid and no matter how many signs or verbal announcements you make, they will not turn off their flash for the well-being of the animals
• don’t pay with credit card when your cabby is hitting on you, because then he learns your full name.
• kittens hate when you’re gone all day
• I’m not too old to sleep with a stuffed shark (yep. I bought a hammerhead — note to future boyfriends: yes, I do take plushie gifts)
• There are some guys out there who will drive out to see you, even after last call, for just a few minutes… (ha, if you want updates on this, you’re just going to have to wait…)

Now next weekend… yeah, that’ll be a trip. I’m meeting up with a mass of 20-something bloggers for a weekend here in the city.  It’ll be a great time, if everyone is as awesome as the people I’ve met already.  And hopefully there’ll be more cupcakes too.  (Seriously, I think I have an addiction now…)

That’s the basics of it.  And yes, I’ll go into detail soon… Mainly about the whole experience with my first tweetup and meeting said awesome bloggers.  However, for now… I’ll leave you with this, it sort of sums things up in one way or another:

Myself and the lovely Rachel (for whom we were celebrating!)