Comments on: congratulations, I think… (coping with your ex’s new life) http://www.thiswench.com/2009/06/25/congratulations-i-think-coping-with-your-exs-new-life/ Thu, 01 Apr 2010 04:26:36 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: rini http://www.thiswench.com/2009/06/25/congratulations-i-think-coping-with-your-exs-new-life/comment-page-1/#comment-689 rini Mon, 29 Jun 2009 13:19:38 +0000 http://www.thiswench.com/?p=1383#comment-689 I think one thing that's helping a lot is the fact that in the past few months I've gone on a number of dates... and recently -- very recently -- there seems to be some potential with a pretty awesome guy. Also what helps: Spending a whole weekend with bloggers. yep. :) I think one thing that’s helping a lot is the fact that in the past few months I’ve gone on a number of dates… and recently — very recently — there seems to be some potential with a pretty awesome guy.

Also what helps: Spending a whole weekend with bloggers. yep. :)

]]> By: Jessica http://www.thiswench.com/2009/06/25/congratulations-i-think-coping-with-your-exs-new-life/comment-page-1/#comment-687 Jessica Mon, 29 Jun 2009 04:26:32 +0000 http://www.thiswench.com/?p=1383#comment-687 Ouch that is tough. Hearing that they've moved on before you is always hard, especially when it's serious enough for marriage. I had a similar situation with a guy and I went into a little funk about it, but remembering why we weren't together definitely helped keep me from going insane. Ouch that is tough. Hearing that they’ve moved on before you is always hard, especially when it’s serious enough for marriage. I had a similar situation with a guy and I went into a little funk about it, but remembering why we weren’t together definitely helped keep me from going insane.

]]> By: rini http://www.thiswench.com/2009/06/25/congratulations-i-think-coping-with-your-exs-new-life/comment-page-1/#comment-675 rini Thu, 25 Jun 2009 17:54:56 +0000 http://www.thiswench.com/?p=1383#comment-675 Oats - I only have a few ex's I've gotten updates about... I think I talk to some of my dates and hook ups more. I think the bigger or harder issue for me is that both Sean and I thought I'd be the one to get into a serious relationship first... so him getting married before me, well, I don't know. McBastard - Sean ended up dating again a little less than a year after we broke up. And during our not-so-happy reunion I mention above (him being really drunk and me being sort of depressed), he mentioned something about how much he love(d) that girl (not Ashley) and wanted to marry her... yeah, thanks buddy. I was definitely going through the whole "what did I do wrong" thing then. I think now, since I know that Sean and I aren't right for each other, I'm not thinking that really. Oats – I only have a few ex’s I’ve gotten updates about… I think I talk to some of my dates and hook ups more. I think the bigger or harder issue for me is that both Sean and I thought I’d be the one to get into a serious relationship first… so him getting married before me, well, I don’t know.

McBastard – Sean ended up dating again a little less than a year after we broke up. And during our not-so-happy reunion I mention above (him being really drunk and me being sort of depressed), he mentioned something about how much he love(d) that girl (not Ashley) and wanted to marry her… yeah, thanks buddy. I was definitely going through the whole “what did I do wrong” thing then. I think now, since I know that Sean and I aren’t right for each other, I’m not thinking that really.

]]> By: Mr. McBastard http://www.thiswench.com/2009/06/25/congratulations-i-think-coping-with-your-exs-new-life/comment-page-1/#comment-674 Mr. McBastard Thu, 25 Jun 2009 17:38:57 +0000 http://www.thiswench.com/?p=1383#comment-674 My first real love, whom I'd dated for three years, recently got engaged, too. Though, in my case, we'd only been broken-up for a year, and she'd been dating her new boyfriend for maybe nine months. The entire time we were dating, we never really talked about marriage. I guess I assumed neither of us were at that point in our lives, yet. But apparently she was just chomping at the bit. We do talk occasionally, and I am happy for her. It like you said, though, it stings a little and made me to wonder if maybe I was doing something wrong. My first real love, whom I’d dated for three years, recently got engaged, too. Though, in my case, we’d only been broken-up for a year, and she’d been dating her new boyfriend for maybe nine months. The entire time we were dating, we never really talked about marriage. I guess I assumed neither of us were at that point in our lives, yet. But apparently she was just chomping at the bit.

We do talk occasionally, and I am happy for her. It like you said, though, it stings a little and made me to wonder if maybe I was doing something wrong.

]]> By: Oats (Justin) http://www.thiswench.com/2009/06/25/congratulations-i-think-coping-with-your-exs-new-life/comment-page-1/#comment-673 Oats (Justin) Thu, 25 Jun 2009 17:23:12 +0000 http://www.thiswench.com/?p=1383#comment-673 I had the pleasure of spending a weekend with my group of friends from college which of course included my ex-gf of 5 years. It was awkward the whole time because we have the same friends who all associated with us as a couple. Now I'm married, she's seeing someone - the weirdness between us is exponentially higher than it should be since we last dated 5-6 years ago. I remember always trying to keep track of exs and who they were dating, rationalizing how I am better than them. In the end, I've just abandoned that because the feelings I had for them then were for a different person than they are now. I was a different person then. So if we've both moved on then why is there this tension? None of my exs have been engaged yet, so I guess I was the one to do that first. Katie knew I was getting engaged before my wife did. Word travels fast... Ann stopped responding to me altogether. She's still bitter about the breakup from 5 years ago. I saw her once after the breakup - mostly to pay her dad for an amp I was buying from him - and it was brutal. We dated for about a year. I guess getting news of engagements or even dating status changes of exs can range from 'eh' to devastating. It's just how you make it. Sounds like you are at about the right place - somewhere in between. For real: Congratulations, or something like that... whatever. Why are my responses so long today? I had the pleasure of spending a weekend with my group of friends from college which of course included my ex-gf of 5 years. It was awkward the whole time because we have the same friends who all associated with us as a couple. Now I’m married, she’s seeing someone – the weirdness between us is exponentially higher than it should be since we last dated 5-6 years ago.

I remember always trying to keep track of exs and who they were dating, rationalizing how I am better than them. In the end, I’ve just abandoned that because the feelings I had for them then were for a different person than they are now. I was a different person then. So if we’ve both moved on then why is there this tension?

None of my exs have been engaged yet, so I guess I was the one to do that first. Katie knew I was getting engaged before my wife did. Word travels fast… Ann stopped responding to me altogether. She’s still bitter about the breakup from 5 years ago. I saw her once after the breakup – mostly to pay her dad for an amp I was buying from him – and it was brutal. We dated for about a year.

I guess getting news of engagements or even dating status changes of exs can range from ‘eh’ to devastating. It’s just how you make it. Sounds like you are at about the right place – somewhere in between. For real: Congratulations, or something like that… whatever.

Why are my responses so long today?

]]> By: rini http://www.thiswench.com/2009/06/25/congratulations-i-think-coping-with-your-exs-new-life/comment-page-1/#comment-672 rini Thu, 25 Jun 2009 16:08:21 +0000 http://www.thiswench.com/?p=1383#comment-672 Seeing Sean for the first time after we had broken up was crazy... of course, he was massively drunk and I had just returned from my stepmom's funeral... bad scene for us all. I saw him again last year... he and Ashley visited for an evening. She's cool.. but I could tell it was awkward for her too 'cause Sean and I still had our little jokes and shared memories. A good number of people think I was crazy for agreeing to hang out with them, but meh. We'd both moved on, right? Seeing Sean for the first time after we had broken up was crazy… of course, he was massively drunk and I had just returned from my stepmom’s funeral… bad scene for us all.

I saw him again last year… he and Ashley visited for an evening. She’s cool.. but I could tell it was awkward for her too ’cause Sean and I still had our little jokes and shared memories. A good number of people think I was crazy for agreeing to hang out with them, but meh. We’d both moved on, right?

]]> By: MinD http://www.thiswench.com/2009/06/25/congratulations-i-think-coping-with-your-exs-new-life/comment-page-1/#comment-671 MinD Thu, 25 Jun 2009 16:00:51 +0000 http://www.thiswench.com/?p=1383#comment-671 That has to be tough, I'm sure. It was weird seeing that my most recent ex - we dated for three years and even lived together - had a new girlfriend, even though I had a boyfriend by then. It's just odd seeing the other move on, no matter what our situation might be. That has to be tough, I’m sure. It was weird seeing that my most recent ex – we dated for three years and even lived together – had a new girlfriend, even though I had a boyfriend by then. It’s just odd seeing the other move on, no matter what our situation might be.

]]> By: rini http://www.thiswench.com/2009/06/25/congratulations-i-think-coping-with-your-exs-new-life/comment-page-1/#comment-670 rini Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:56:46 +0000 http://www.thiswench.com/?p=1383#comment-670 So far, I like being 25. I can still act stupid and people accept it as crazy 20-something behavior, yet I'm adult enough for people to take me serious. No need to rush anything! Having 4 years to deal with his relationships and my being single has helped a lot. And I definitely feel that I've grown a lot since then. ... Will I be seeing you tonight for pizza? So far, I like being 25. I can still act stupid and people accept it as crazy 20-something behavior, yet I’m adult enough for people to take me serious. No need to rush anything!

Having 4 years to deal with his relationships and my being single has helped a lot. And I definitely feel that I’ve grown a lot since then.

… Will I be seeing you tonight for pizza?

]]> By: Molly http://www.thiswench.com/2009/06/25/congratulations-i-think-coping-with-your-exs-new-life/comment-page-1/#comment-669 Molly Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:44:37 +0000 http://www.thiswench.com/?p=1383#comment-669 I definitely understand that finding out that information would sting, but it sounds like you have a good perspective on the whole situation. Plus, you may not feel like it, but you're so young! The twenties are for figuring this stuff out anyways ;) I definitely understand that finding out that information would sting, but it sounds like you have a good perspective on the whole situation. Plus, you may not feel like it, but you’re so young! The twenties are for figuring this stuff out anyways ;)

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